Divorce is a long and complicated process. If you are not careful, it can also completely take over your mental health. Many men and women struggle to maintain a positive outlook as they fight tooth and nail with their soon-to-be ex over child custody and the division of marital property. In a lengthy divorce, mental health can take a nosedive. Contact Remington & Dixon for legal assistance. A Charlotte, NC family attorney provides tips for how to persevere with your mental health.
The Connection Between Divorce and Mental Health
It is no secret that a divorce causes emotional and mental strain. Many people experience:
- Anger
- Sadness
- Anxiety
- Fear
- Depression
- Lower self-esteem
- Isolation
- Loneliness
- Resentment
- Envy or jealousy
Emotional stress can also manifest in physical symptoms. Many people lose weight or are unable to sleep, and can become sick.
10 Tips for Dealing with Divorce Mental Health
1. Accept Your Emotions
People feel all sorts of emotions when their marriage hits the rocks. Probably the worst thing for our well-being is to fight our emotions.
Instead, allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, grief, and longing. Do not suppress them.
One way to accept your emotions is to keep a journal where you can be 100% honest with yourself. By using this outlet, you give yourself space to give voice to what you are feeling. You can even vent in your journal. Permitting yourself to feel intense emotions at certain times of the day can help you remain focused during the remaining hours.
2. Get Active
Exercise is not a cure for depression. But being active can reduce divorce stress symptoms like anxiety and sleeplessness. Find something you enjoy doing, whether a brisk walk at night or joining a spin class. Some people enjoy trying something new so they don’t get bored, while others like a routine. Choose whatever you can stick with. Exercise can help people sleep better and improve their general mood.
3. Seek Mental Health Counseling
Some people are struggling with depression or other clinical mental health problems. For someone already struggling with depression, divorce can make things even worse. Get professional medical help.
Your therapist might order medication to deal with depression or anxiety. Remember to take your medication and stay in contact if you do not think you are improving.
4. Identify Your Support Network
We do not recommend cutting everyone off. However, you need to identify a small, tight support network. This can be made up of family or friends or a mix of both. These are people you can trust and lean on when you need to vent or want help with something around the house.
5. Establish Boundaries with Everyone
Some experts recommend setting boundaries with your spouse. And that is not bad advice. But you really need boundaries with everyone in your life during this difficult time. Many people will come out of the woodwork and start asking questions about your marriage. They are being nosy, and you probably want to keep them at arm’s length. Try the following:
- Limit unnecessary communication. Once people find out about the divorce, they might reach out to talk. You should only talk if you want to.
- Feel no pressure to respond. You do not have to respond to every text message or email asking how you are doing.
- When communicating with your spouse, remain neutral in your tone and language. Do not trigger any fights.
- Communicate through email, if necessary. That way, you can control when you need to talk to people.
6. Let Go of Old Routines
You and your spouse might have gone grocery shopping every Saturday morning or spent Sunday morning in bed reading the newspaper. You can continue with these routines if you want, but it might be helpful to try something new, especially if you are feeling stressed or sad.
7. Avoid Any Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Too many people rely on food, spending, alcohol, or drugs to help them get through the stress of divorce. Instead of feeling happy or secure, they end up hooked on drugs and broke. Also, avoid some coping mechanisms like overwork, which might allow you to block out thoughts of your divorce, but can still take a toll on your mental health.
8. Relieve Financial Stress by Relying on North Carolina Resources
Splitting up can destroy someone’s finances. If your spouse moves out, you might be paying the mortgage and utilities on your own. To relieve the financial burden, look into the financial resources available to you.
9. Keep a Gratitude Journal
You can stay positive about the future by being positive about the present. Find three things you are grateful for each day and write them down. They do not have to be big. By focusing on the positive, you give yourself hope that you can pull through the darkest days.
10. Hire a Divorce Lawyer to Handle Your Case
Nothing causes a person’s mental health to tank like struggling to figure out what paperwork to file or what they are entitled to when it comes to marital property or support. Hire a seasoned lawyer to guide you through the process and make uncomfortable calls to your spouse’s lawyer.
Reach Out to Our Charlotte Family Lawyer
Knowing you have an experienced divorce lawyer can relieve tremendous stress. Our Remington & Dixon, PLLC can discuss what you hope to get out of the divorce and what steps to take next. We might have an additional tip or two related to divorce and mental health. Contact us to schedule a consultation.
