Prenuptial agreements are becoming more common with people from all walks of life. However, bringing up a prenup requires considerable thought. Some partners become angry when confronted with a request to sign a prenup, but there are helpful things you can do to ease the strain. For advice on how to bring up a prenup, call Remington & Dixon to speak with a Charlotte family law attorney about a prenuptial agreement.
Only Bring Up a Prenup if You Are Serious About Having One
Don’t simply float the idea of a prenuptial agreement if you are not serious about actually having one as a condition of marriage. Nothing starts a marriage off on the wrong foot quite like floating the idea of a prenup only to backtrack at the first sign of resistance from your partner.
Are you considering a prenup for your marriage? Spend some time discussing these issues with your attorney. We can review the key considerations, as well as your objectives, before you even raise the issue with your loved one. That means you can avoid unnecessary stress if you are not sure if you want this agreement in place before exchanging vows.
Find the Right Time to Talk about a Prenup
Once you’ve decided to sign a prenup, you need to find the right occasion to discuss it with your partner. Timing is critical. Your partner might be feeling a lot of stress already, especially if he or she has been organizing the wedding. The last thing you want is to spring the prenup on them and only compound the stress.
Remember, a prenuptial agreement is generally legal when entered voluntarily. But a judge might consider if you gave a copy to your partner at the altar, so plan for a quiet time to talk about it. Also, bringing up a prenup several months in advance gives you time to negotiate the particulars of the agreement, which also increases the document’s credibility with a judge.
Be Open to Revision
Another consideration is whether each side managed to negotiate some of the terms. If you make the prenup a “take it or leave it” proposition, then you can anger your partner. Also, you make the agreement look more one-sided.
Technically, you are not required to negotiate or revise a prenuptial agreement. However, being open to revision can help ease your partner into the process and let them feel like they have an equal stake in the agreement once both of you have signed on the dotted line.
Discuss the Benefits of a Prenuptial Agreement
It is normal for partners to feel anger or hurt when confronted with a prenuptial agreement. They might think you assume the marriage is destined for divorce court, which is why you want them to sign.
When asked for tips on how to talk about a prenup, we often advise clients to emphasize a couple of benefits the agreement has for their partner. For example, the prenup gives your partner a concrete understanding of your finances. They can take relief in knowing you have fully disclosed all your assets and debts. There should be no surprises as you enter marriage.
Further, a prenuptial agreement can simplify any divorce, should your relationship reach that stage. Divorce is stressful enough even without a prenuptial agreement.
Avoid Taking Offense
Prenuptial discussions can become heated. Your partner can respond with a variety of emotions, including anger, disgust, fear, or sarcasm. Ideally, you will not respond in kind. Remember, you have probably been thinking about a prenuptial agreement for some time, whereas your partner is only just now facing the possibility.
Do not escalate the situation. Instead, let the issue lie for a few weeks and then only raise it again when your partner is in a calmer mood. This is another reason to avoid springing the agreement on a partner within weeks of a wedding.
Encourage Your Partner to Hire Their Own Lawyer
By discussing a prenuptial agreement several months before a wedding, you give your partner time to hire a lawyer. In fact, you should encourage them to seek out legal advice. This advice helps in many ways:
- You show your goodwill. You are not trying to force a one-sided prenup onto your partner.
- Your partner will benefit from a lawyer’s advice. Few lay people understand the particulars about prenuptial agreements or what can be included or negotiated.
- Obtaining independent legal counsel increases the validity of the prenuptial agreement in the eyes of a judge. As mentioned already, a prenup is vulnerable if it is too one-sided.
Our law firm can represent you and negotiate with your partner’s attorney to modify some of the terms of the agreement. Ideally, we will get 6 months or so to tighten the agreement to the satisfaction of both sides.
Call Our Office to Speak with a Charlotte Prenuptial Agreement Lawyer
Remington & Dixon, PLLC, is committed to providing the highest level of family law services to our clients. If you are interested in a prenuptial agreement, we can draft one or look at a version created by your partner’s legal team. Contact us today to schedule a consultation. It is never too early to receive prenup advice.
