North Carolina custody decisions are based on many considerations, including each parent’s relationship with the child. Another factor is the child’s preference. Judges will consider who the child wants to live with as part of their analysis in a contested custody case or after paternity is established. One question is, “At what age can a child choose which parent to live with in NC?” As our Charlotte child custody lawyer explains below, there is no specific age at which a child makes a choice.
Can A Child Choose Which Parent to Live With?
A child cannot “choose.” The child can express a preference, but a judge is not obligated to follow the child’s wishes. It is one factor a judge will consider as part of their analysis of what is in the child’s best interest.
That is the touchstone for child custody decisions: the best interest of the child. N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-13.2 instructs judges in our state to consider “all relevant facts” when deciding who can promote the child’s welfare and interests best.
Some of the factors typically include:
- Each parent’s relationship with the child up to that point
- The ability of each parent to provide a safe and stable home
- Each parent’s physical and mental health
- Any history of drug or substance abuse
- Any domestic violence
- Whether a parent has neglected the child
No one factor controls the outcome of the case. Judges must look at everything relevant and reach a decision using their judgment about what is best for the children.
A judge will also consider a child’s wishes. The weight given to this factor will depend on the child’s age and maturity. Generally, a 16-year-old’s opinion carries more weight than a five-year-old’s opinion.
When Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With?
A child can express a preference at any age. The weight a judge will give to this preference depends on the situation. Judges do not simply go along with what a child wants.
There are good reasons why North Carolina doesn’t let children pick the parent they live with. For one thing, that kind of choice would put incredible pressure on a child.
Also, young children are influenced by their parents. A child who is five or six could be swayed if they live mostly with their mother, who poisons the child’s opinion of their father. A child’s preference at a young age might be no more than a reflection of coercion from a custodial parent.
As children age and gain maturity, their opinion carries more weight in court. That also makes sense. A 16-year-old, for example, is close to becoming an adult. They might even have a driver’s license and access to a car, so they are always on the road. Trying to force an older teen to live with a parent might be counterproductive, so judges usually give an older teen’s opinion greater significance.
Increasing Your Chances of Obtaining Custody
If you are considering divorce, you should meet with a family law attorney to discuss possible custody arrangements. Parents can work out custody between themselves and come up with a fair arrangement that works for everybody.
If you see a custody fight on the horizon, then work with your attorney to strengthen your chances of obtaining custody. Some steps could include spending more time with your children and stabilizing your home life.
You might travel all week for work or stay late at the office, which means you don’t see your children. To improve your chances in a custody fight, you might need to rearrange your work schedule. You can also try to get any substance abuse problems under control or find a better job to create more stability.
What if a Child Does Not Want to Visit?
Child custody in North Carolina is often joint. Both parents have considerable time with the children. But what happens if your child does not want to visit? Can a child refuse?
Legally, you have a right to see your children as spelled out in the parenting plan and custody schedule, at least until your child is 18. However, with older teens, you might be unable to force them to come see you. A teenager with a license, for example, is largely on their own and independent.
With younger children, you might need to go to court if you think the other parent is keeping the children from you. Watch out for repeated claims that your child is sick or has conflicting appointments. It could be that the other parent is trying to keep you from seeing your children.
At Remington & Dixon, we can discuss your options when you do not see your child. You might need to ask a judge to modify child custody.
Consult an Experienced Lawyer if You Have Custody Questions
Remington & Dixon, PLLC, has helped many men and women with custody cases. Your relationship with your child is important, and North Carolina law acknowledges that fact. Ensuring you see them after divorce requires careful planning and some flexibility. Go into any custody dispute with your eyes open and contact our law firm to schedule a time to come in and discuss your case in a private consultation.
